Your name is INSIGNIFICANT but you have been CHICKENED and you are to submit your generously GREASY experiences. You are also a POTENTIAL chickener and we would like to see your pathetic ATTEMPTS.
The right tool for the job
▼: *fidgets in his tight Prussian blue and black lace corset, the skimpy underwear he’s wearing giving a nice curve to his ass. he’s wearing matching lace glovelettes and black see-through tights. there’s an interesting assortment of items on the bed behind him. he glances up to the other in front of him, biting his lip with a blush to his cheeks* o-oh um um… hey there…
▲: OH SWEET FUCK.
▼: *a slight curl to the corner of his mouth becomes evident* do you like it? *he poses a little*
▲: -HE BITES HIS LOWER LIP, GLANCING BACK TO THE ITEMS ON THE BED.-
▲: ER.
▼: hmm?
▲: -HE CASTS HIS GAZE BACK OVER JOHN, GIVING HIM THE ONCE OVER.-
▲: IT’S, UH. IT’S A PRETTY DAMN GOOD START.
yesterdsaysperfectionist, basketcat, apastrom, amporastalker, doublebackflippirouette, lowbrowisclassy started following you
you know the drill
chicken becomes your life
it becomes you
you become it
you are the chicken
Knights: Savor the chicken
YOU ARE NOW TALKING TO A RANDOM FUCKASS. SAY SOMETHING, ASSHOLE!
▲: sup
▼: FUCK YOU, STRIDER.
▼: NOW THAT THE FORMALITIES ARE OUT OF THE WAY, HAVE YOU SEEN EGBERT?
▲: dont think ive seen head or tail of egderp around
▲: dude
▲: no homo bro
▼: WELL, FUCK…
▼: NO HOMO?
▲: yeah you know what that means dude or what
▼: NO, I DON’T. THIS MUST BE ANOTHER IDIOTIC EARTH THING.
▲: alright im feeling generous here
▲: sit down on my lap vantass
▲: let me show you how this homo goes
▼: … WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU WANT ME TO SIT ON YOU.
▲: do it vantass
▲: this is a knight to knight talk here
▲: just knights
▼: DUDE, I’M NOT FUCKING SITTING ON YOU. YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO LIVE TALKING TO ME LIKE THIS.
▲: you need a lesson or two here
▲: i need to lay down some teachings of the colonel
▲: hot and heavy
▲: come at me bro
▼: AUGH! YOU ARE SO FUCKING HARD TO FOLLOW!
▼: JUST TELL ME WHAT THE STUPID THING MEANS, FUCKASS.
▲: okay vantass try to follow
▲: step a little closer and keep your eyes shut
▲: strider will show you the way
▼: … FINE, WHATEVER.
▼: WELL?
▲: *Dave takes an easy step forward, reaching out a hand to snarl his fingers into Karkat’s shirt front with a bare smirk. He uses his hold to yank him closer, nails scratching into Karkat’s skin.*
▼: *Flinches at the dull pain and glares into Dave’s shaded eyes as he brings his own hand up to try and force him to let go.*
▲: *A slow roll of his eyes behind his shades announces another harsh jerk, free hand working to tangle into Karkat’s strand to force his head backwards. He pushes his smirk next to Karkat’s ear.*
▲: not putting up much of a struggle there vantass
▼: *Yelps as his head is forced backwards, and he shoves a little rougher at Dave half-heartedly* W-WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING, FUCKASS?!
▲: laying the dictionary down heavy on you bro
▼: … WHAT DICTIONARY?
[o] Mr Noir, I have a mission for you of utmost importance.
▲: Hello, ladies
▼: well kid?
▼: wth
▲: Oh dear.
▼: i cant even read that shit
▲: Who is this? Is that you, Slick?
▼: oh fuck doc is that you
▼: no its jack so um yes i guess
▼: god i hate time shit
▲: Ah, excellent. Just the man I wanted to speak to.
▲: I have a proposal for you.
▼: oh realy
▼: im listening
▲: Yes, there is something I need to do, and it is incredibly important.
▲: But, I am afraid I cannot do it alone.
▲: It is… rather odd to talk about.
▼: go on
▲: But, it is best if I just ask this now.
▲: Are you aware of the wonderful ‘Original Recipe’ of Colonel Sanders?
▲: It involves copious amounts of what I think is the greatest meal from Earth.
▲: You probably haven’t heard of it, considering that fact.
eremesguile, endofunctor, fetusisafurfag, and demshiz started following you
You find yourself in a room, a room that you have never seen before. Delicious odors waft up your nostrils and liquid pools from the ceiling only to land all over your wonderful beings. Grease, grease everywhere. Grease sinking into your pores and into every possible orifice upon your being. Then, it begins to hail. Except the the hail is an assortment of KFC chicken drumsticks, wings, and thighs. This is your time, my friends. Open your mouths to the heavens and take it all in. Just taaaaaaaake it in.
Strider: Romance TZ with KFC
▼: YOU KNOW YOU LOV3 M3
▼: 1 KNOW YOU C4R3
▼: JUST SHOUT WH3N3V3R
▼: 4ND 1LL B3 TH3R3
▼: YOU W4NT MY LOV3
▼: YOU W4NT MY H34RT
▼: 4ND W3 W1LL N3V3R, 3V3R, 3V3R B3 4P4RT
▲: ok tz
▲: hold up there
▼: … >:[
▲: so its five in the morning here tz
▲: me
▲: theres on you
▲: us
▲: and chicken
▲: fried chicken and its greasy goodness
Knight: Show the princess how it’s done
▼: )(ello? Anyone T)(-ER-E?
▲: sup
▲: so this is how it goes
▲: im going to lay it down here
▲: you sit back there and i teach you the was
▲: ways
▲: preaching it like the pope
▲: you ready for this
▼: O)( )(ello! I dont t)(ink I’ve talked to you before.
▼: Umm. Okay! I dont really know w)(at you mean, but!
▲: alright just sit back
▲: you see this
▲: let the knight show you the way princess
▲: take that into your bosom
▲: this chicken thigh
▲: because the thigh is the meat
▲: the king meat
Dave: Teach Tavros to be cool via colonel sanders
▲: so who has the privilege to talk to me now
▼: uM, i DO, i GUESS„,
▼: bUT, i’M NOT SURE i’M WORTHY,
▼: i MEAN, yOU’RE dAVE sTRIDER, tHE COOLEST COOLKID, pROBABLY EVER,
▲: shit you arent but ill give you the time of day
▲: like the emperor on his throne
▲: looking over the kingdom of cool he reigns
▼: iS IT POSSIBLE, tO TEACH COOLNESS,
▼: bECAUSE, i’D SERIOUSLY, lIKE, pAY TO BE EVEN A FRACTION AS COOL AS YOU ARE,
▲: just born with it dude
▲: like a birdbaby infused with the instinct
▲: although if you bask in someone cool enough it might rub of
▲: off
▼: oKAY THEN„,
▼: dAVE, cOULD WE, mAYBE, sOMETIME, hOPEFULLY, uHH„,
▲: lay it on me bro
▲: thicker than blood here come on
▼: hANG OUT, sO i CAN GET SOME OF YOUR COOL, oNME,
▲: ok so
▲: lets make this happen now
▲: im feeling generous
▼: oH, bUT, i DON’T THINK WE COULD MEET YET„,
▲: like mother theresa on her bad day
▲: ill tell you what to do
▲: just the whole 101 course right here
▲: cool for dummies edition one
▲: no other edition exists
▲: and ever will theres no need
▲: colonel sanders can dig the original recipe i got here
▼: i DIDN’T UNDERSTAND, aNY OF THAT, aT ALL,
▼: bUT, tHAT’S WHY i’M NOT COOL, aND YOU’RE COOL GURU,
▼: tEACH ME COLONEL, oR, wHATEVER YOU JSUT CALLED YOURSELF,
▼: 101 YOUR BOOKS, rECIPES, cOOLNESS DEVICES ON ME,
▲: alright
▲: you want crispy original or grilled here
▼: gRILLED SOUNDS GOOD,
▼: iT’S HEALTHIER, rIGHT, sO i WANT GRILLED,
▲: you want the oil dripping off
▲: its sweet that beautiful juice of life
john, john please
YOU ARE NOW TALKING TO A RANDOM FUCKASS. SAY SOMETHING, ASSHOLE! ▼: HEY THERE MY MOTHERFUCKER. ▼: you want to play a game? ▲: only if it’s a game of chicken! ▼: IT IS, MY MOTHERFUCKER. ▼: to some degree. ▲: if it doesn’t involve grease and fried delicacy, i’m not in. ▼ HAS FUCKED OFF.
